Sins for a Butler
by CupQueenCake
Summary: This is a yaoi fanfiction containing the ship Sebastian x Ciel (SebaCiel)! This is about young Ciel who loves Sebastian and this is their mixed up tale of Sebastian finding out. It sounds simple enough, but it will in fact be so much more. The first chapter starts out on Christmas eve. WARNING: There is some foul language and i will rate it T and possible M later...ENJOY
1. Chapter 1- Christmas Eve

**A Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) Fanfiction**

**Sins for a Butler**

**Chapter 1: Christmas Eve**

It was a snowy day, a "White Christmas" of sorts, where the snow left a thin coat but didn't lock my doors shut. A Phantomhive Christmas was a renowned holiday, hosted every year, but the party hadn't yet begun so I was left alone here in my chair. My fingers wrapped so tightly around the smooth mahogany, with the sweet scent of the well decorated pine tree, created a sense of unrequited bliss. I savored the small tastes of utter loneliness I got, but there was some company I didn't mind. Speaking of the devil I could smell the fresh laden scent of vanilla as he walked through the room, carrying a stack of presents. Each carefully wrapped, almost like a machine. But…yet he was something more.

"Sebastian," I said with a pause, "Good work. Go put them under the tree." He muttered a faint 'yes my lord' before reaching his hand for the door. A small aching entered my icy heart, pushing away my old craving of loneliness. And with that ache came the thoughts. Those small thoughts brought into an idea. "Wait Sebastian," I called hesitantly, "Bring two cups, along with some hot chocolate and don't leave when you get back." The edges of his mouth twitched, as he does when he is perplexed. So, he nodded once before leaving me. But, when he returns I will do something very surprising, maybe not to the average person, but to Sebastian. The thought of that almost makes me crack a smile into my iron expression.

He returns rather quickly and sets down the cups on the well decorated plates. He fills my cup, and stands aloof. I smirk slightly, "Sebastian what is this?" When he stares quizzically at me I continue with a bit more confidence, "Sit down across from me Sebastian and fill the other cup." He obliges, and sits across from me. A small smirk adorns his own face as well, as if he knows what I am planning. "Might I ask what you are driving at young master?" He asks already knowing the answer to the question, but I decide to play his "game". "Well Sebastian I was thinking you have been working hard as per the holidays, preparing so much for the Christmas party tomorrow, and I guess you deserve a break." I sip my cocoa, and he gives me an unreadable expression. That expression I so want to crack, it almost angers me.

"Are those your only plans young master? Or are you driving at something else?" His voice slowly slipped into a seductive irresistible such, and I counted in my heart the quickening of beats. I wanted to avert my gaze from his, but that's what he would expect right? If I do the unexpected he will not grow bored of me. And might I say the only thing I fear is him boring of my soul, and leaving me to rot in my own loneliness. And so I bore my one eye into both of his. This went on for several minutes, till I actually grew bored myself. "Sebastian how about we play a game?" I drummed my fingers next to my now empty cup, waiting for him to take the bait. "Yes my lord. Shall I get the chess set?" I chuckled slightly, "Chess? No Sebastian I was thinking of something else." That perplexed twitch came on again. Provoking such reactions were quite fun.

"How about we play a game where one determines whether a statement is truth or lie? I will give a statement and you must somehow determine its value of truth. And then if you get it right I have to take a gander on a statement from you" He contemplates for a while, and then returns to me with a smirk. He would play. "I'll go first Sebastian, but give me some time to think." He whispered, almost touching his nose to mine, "We wouldn't want to rush things young master." I gasped reeling back. That bastard, toying with me like that. I then settle myself, externally, to think of a question. "It is true that I have no fear." I start of simple enough, the game deserves a warmup.

Without a single hesitation he answers, "False, all humans have a fear as they eventually realize their own sentiments. But what perplexes me young master, what your fear could be. Hmm." He strokes his chin identifying my gaze with a smirk, as he contemplates my fear. "You are correct Sebastian, your turn." He claps his hands resting his chin onto his now laced fingers, "It is true that I care little for anyone." I bite my lip, as this statement could very well be true but then again it couldn't. I would assume Sebastian cares for cats as if they were people, so saying true probably couldn't harm me, but then again my reasoning could. I suppose it would be best to be vague. "I say false Sebastian. Where it may be true you care little for many, there most likely is someone or something you care deeply for. It probably is not uncommon for demons to indulge in sentiment." His gaze grows interested, I suppose it is safe to assume I might've caught him a little off guard. "Ah it seems my very young master caught me." He said it as if he were challenging me to a duel, assuming my age could make a grand difference to the outcome. "Challenge accepted Sebastian. It is true I do not hold love for anyone in my heart. You can exclude my parents if you will." If I think carefully enough about it I would say the answer to my question is true, but I so hopefully hope he does not know. It would be almost impossible for him to guess, for it could be anyone since he knows my contemptuous attitude to marriage concerning Elizabeth. "I would gander that to be false again my lord. And my reasoning," He brought his face closer observing the emotion in my eyes and soul, "My reasoning is that you act very differently around the one you love." I clasp my hands glaring, "Just because I act different around someone does not make them on my list to court Sebastian." He nods and quickly corrects himself, "What I mean is that you show signs all human show. Your face is quite flushed and your heart is very much quickened. Plus I could very well guess by the hard look you are giving, that your thoughts are racing slightly."

That broke my expression to anger that build in rapid rivers. Clenching my teeth I seethed, "Sebastian how could you possibly know?" Though I was visibly angry, my voice didn't crack. I could not allow my emotions to fully worsen my embarrassing predicament. He chuckled, "Well I am able to read your mind when you are fully set on thinking about it, and as it so happens that was one of those things. You tend to think a lot young master." I grew tired of him being the sly bastard he is yet again, so I struck him. He didn't even appear surprised nor did he appear angry. He was still smirking; damn you Sebastian. "Young master I may have pointed out several characteristics of your emotions, but in no means do I actually know who it is you love. I was only playing you, I apologize for my insolence." I rose averting my gaze and taking my leave.

I headed to the only place I usually go to think, the gazebo. I rest my head in my hands and hide my frustration, gulping down the tears that usually come with said emotion. I grow weary from stress often enough from work, but the stress that comes with forbidden love brings a greater storm. I would say the cause of most of my stress is due to Sebastian. Besides my worries, the way he can transparently look through me and the way he can manipulate my emotions with such tricks is enough to put me to an early grave. It is times like these I sometimes wish to be a demon, I mean it is not a lie to assume I'd be heading towards hell anyway. I have had my fair share of too many sins over the years as it is.

As a sigh escapes me the wind carries me a spicy scent of vanilla, announcing his presence. I do not even look up as I say, "Sebastian what are you here for?" He did not speak for some time, in fact I started to wonder if he had any reason to be here at all. So I dared, and looked into his eyes. His mask still worn had a small hole in it, I saw that hole...that look in his eyes. I knew he had come here to apologize. Now apologies are normal for people like Elizabeth or maybe even Grell, but for people like Sebastian and I it is unheard of. I can feel my expression changing to that of shock, exposing my insides before him like some sort of prize. Damn it Sebastian! "Sebastian," I said with such force to startle him a little, "There is no need to apologize. You know how a child hates to lose a game." I rose with a genuine smile and he returned it. "I know full well, but for next time I do suggest you play chess instead." I stand up starting to walk inside for bed. "But that way it wouldn't be any fun, now would it Sebastian?" I raised my eyes only enough to seem seductive, but not of the irresistible sorts."

Now it was his turn to be flustered, but I knew he wouldn't show it. But somehow I wish he would. But who am I kidding, I am only a meal to him in the end. And before I reached the inside of my room his voice miraculously had answered, "I will prepare you a rematch in due time young master, but in the meantime it is time to rest. We have the Christmas Ball tomorrow, along with Elizabeth staying over and very many presents to open. You will have to be up early." I closed my hand around the knob smiling, "Only if I am greeted with tea in the morning Sebastian." And with that, I closed the knob around my fingers and went inside.


	2. Chapter 2- Thank You

**Sins for a Butler Chapter 2: Thank you**

**BY THE WAY sorry this is a little late, I wont update day to day since it takes me a while to write with school projects. And so sorry it's a little bit shorter and slow with the ROMANCE and snazz, I usually like to start out with the angst and exposition to get a feel with our conflicts. Please do review and give me suggestions if you will DO NOT BE AFRAID :D!**

I was awoken by the droll knocking at my door, which preceded to let the sun shine into my eyes. It hurt to open them too quickly, so I blinked a couple times to find the sun blocked by a shadowy figure. Sebastian smirked at me, as if the simple fact of trying to wake up amused him in some way. "Good morning young master, I have made you a light breakfast to keep your appetite up for the ball tonight. Just simple toast and fresh jam from a nearby farm I had acquired. Along with today's tea, a mystifying Rooibos tea imported from South of Africa." Sometimes the things Sebastian would do to ensure I had a wonderful morning baffled me. I really had no such idea to where he got most of our foods, and where he got such ideas to make me the things he did. I must have stared into my tea cup long enough for him to make him impatient. "Is it not to your liking young master?" He asked me with such a seductive drawl, my cheeks reddened a bit. I sipped the tea and answered, "No its fine Sebastian, what else is on my schedule?" He taps his chin and bowed, "On your schedule today are presents for the little lord after breakfast, and then preparations for the ball while you catch up on your studies in German." I groan audibly, being that German was never a language I was fond of learning nor was I any great at it. He smirks and a look crosses his face as if he had remembered something. The manner in which he spoke next was one of false dread, "I suppose also you might have forgotten some of the noble dance skills needed in order to appear gentlemanly at a ball. However, this poses no problem if you need an extra lesson before it begins." I snort at him, "Honestly Sebastian I am fine, I have practiced enough times to seem normal in the least. Sometimes I think you get a kick out of treating me like an ignorant child!" His smirk grew ever so slightly, in a manner only I would notice, "And so what if I do, young master?" I turned around crossing my arms to hide my reddened face. That sly, oh so sly demon. The teasing he puts me through honestly makes me go mad. I decide to ignore it, or for as long as I can manage at least.

After I am dressed into a green jacket and trousers, I follow Sebastian to where the other servants are waiting with Elizabeth. I had not noticed her arrival, but I can also assume that I frankly don't listen to many things concerning Elizabeth. It is not in truth that I despise her, she is my beloved cousin and her reputation will live on by marrying into Phantomhive, but there is no love for her in that regard. I do not wish to love her intimately, I only seek to please my family and the other nobles for I probably won't be able to live for many more years. Before I get side tracked I give my fiancé a quick hug, and place myself in my chair which smells strongly of vanilla. I quickly glance to Sebastian, who notices but doesn't crack his expression. "Sebastian, hand out the presents please, I can open mine last." He smirks, "Saving the best for last young master?" I chuckle, "You could say that." Lizzie shrieks when she sees hers, I had gotten a likeness of her done by a local artist. It was a replica of the picture we took when Aunt Francis took us on vacation to France a year ago. She seems pleased enough, bubbling many thanks that go unheard. I nod my regard, but don't pay much mind. For the other servants they seem happy enough as well. I had given Meyrin glasses she can actually see through which makes her put a face of awe. Finny I had given a new hat without any holes to where he seemed grateful. Bardroy had received cooking knives, so he could practice cooking or whatever. Tanaka didn't seem to want anything, but Sebastian had suggested I at least gave him some tea. The tea Sebastian had picked out was tea my father had drank years ago, so I suppose it sparked some memories. I felt very much proud I suppose, but the reaction I anticipated was Sebastian's. I know he really doesn't want anything, besides my soul, but I thought long and hard for a present he could enjoy…

"Young master," he gasped his features folding into something very un-demon like, "You didn't you really didn't." I wasn't sure how to feel so I just turned my head blushing, "Its fine Sebastian just don't let it touch me." He held up his silky black kitten in amazement. Whatever he found in cats really was astounding. There is no loyalty in cats, much unlike dogs, but I don't question him in any way. It is at least a good thing that he liked it. Composing himself, Sebastian lifted a small envelope with a box taped to it, "For you my lord." He bowed as I opened it carefully, "Took me ages to find but here you are young master." An envelope closed with the seal of Phantomhive, but it wasn't recent. In fact it was very well aged, only to the point where the edges soften like the warming of ice cream. I carefully opened it taking out a letter, signed at the top "_For our Ciel_." I covered my mouth the familiar wetness in my eyes, an aching bob in my throat. I held my composure, for my reputations sake. I could not cry…for I would not stop if I did.

The letter said:

_Dearest Ciel,_

_We cannot believe it so, that you have grown so much since a child. We cannot believe you are already the age of 10! For this year has been a long one, and we know your road to the future will be full of happiness and much success._

_On a shorter note, we want to wish you a Merry Christmas; for this letter may not reach you if we do not see you in time. We are truly sorry for being so busy around the holidays, you know how the business is Ciel. We have attached you a box, to this letter, please open it even if it arrives to you late._

_You are forever in our hearts_

_Love,_

_Your parents Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive_

My hands shook on the letter and I looked up at Sebastian my heart aching. He had gotten me something so much better than I could've ordered him too. Maybe it is this attribute of strong inner sixth sense, which made me fall for Sebastian in the first place. Regardless, I feel myself indulging in sweet sentiment; the sweet sentiments that will utterly bring us to downfall. As he meets my gaze, his mouth twitches being perplexed again. Knowing I've perplexed him probably means he doesn't really care. Oh sweet remorse, for these feelings. I gulp them down like bitter medicine and allow Elizabeth to fawn over me and her present. I chuckle along with her emptily, my eyes slowly still watching Sebastian. A strange look crosses his face as if he wonders about the gift.

He motions his head to the envelope making me sigh, then I see it… the box my parent's letter was speaking of. I hadn't seen it inside so I assumed it wasn't there. Inside was a small locket, with my parents and I in our last family group picture. "What's that Ciel?" Elizabeth inquired as she forced her way into the moment. I did not respond but I think the small wet droplets she felt on her hands was an answer enough. I did not speak, even as the other servants crowded me for comfort. Clenching my fists I held back a sob. I only looked toward Sebastian, oh sweet devil thank you.


	3. Chapter 3- Mysterious Guest

**Chapter 3: Mysterious Guest**

**Hello CupQueenCake here! Thanks so much for reading this guys I appreciate those who seem to like it ^_^. And side note, apologies for the wait. I won't give an excuse that it is because of school I will tell you the truth that it is because I get writers block and I get lazy sometimes xD. It happens. Hehe so please enjoy! 3**

He met that gaze of mine and he smiled, not a smirk, a smile. He spoke, "Is it not to your liking young master?" I wiped my eyes smirking, "No Sebastian this is perfect. I suppose I am ready to-"I was cut off by Elizabeth almost choking me to death, "Wait Cieeeeeel! You have not even opened my present for you! You'll find it to be very cute indeed!" I sighed and opened it, only to find a sweet love letter. I pretended to read it carefully, but in fact I didn't bother. I forced a smile on her, "It is simply beautiful Lizzie, just like you." She squealed in delight and I internally groaned. Sensing my apprehension, Sebastian took charge of the situation, "Now now everyone. It is time to prepare for the ball, I have laid out your dress for you Miss Elizabeth. And for you young master, let us get you ready so I may do dinner preparations."

I allowed myself to be led into my bedroom. He started unbuttoning my shirt and replacing it with a newly suited party ensemble. As he buttoned the final coat buttons, I slowly wrapped my arms around his head. He didn't flinch, so I continued to pursue my goal of astounding him, for I would wish not to ever bore him. I planted a kiss on his forehead and smiled ever so slightly, "I wanted to thank you Sebastian." I let go as he stood up, his entire expression was distorted. He seemed a mixture of confusion and something I couldn't read. "Well if I couldn't simply find a suitable present for my master, what kind of butler would I be?" I glared at him, drilling fire into his eyes. I scoffed, "Your response could not be any closer to hiding something Sebastian. Why not just outright lie next time?" He seemed a little startled, having caught him avoiding the moment. I didn't continue to provoke him, "You may go prepare for the ball now Sebastian." I knew he wouldn't really care, but it doesn't really matter in the long run I suppose. "Oh, young master I left you your mask for the ball. You did say to make it interesting so I thought of a masquerade of sorts." He winked as he left without a trace. The mask was pure black donned with blue feathers with white gem wisps around the eyes. I chuckled to myself, for I knew if Sebastian was dressing up too…I could use this masquerade to my advantage.

* * *

The soft whispers and mutters of the party guests' reverbs through my study upstairs and I know that it is most likely time to make an entrance. When Sebastian took a break we had decided on a violin duet to play at the party, to entertain the guests of course, and also to help my plan. My plan may not be what you'd call perfect, but in fact would catch Sebastian off guard if he doesn't know about it already. I am to find him after we play our duet, but not before taking a small "leave." With that I have Tanaka ready to change my outfit into something else. Disguised again, I will dance with Sebastian to leave a small kiss on his lips. Obviously he would know it was me and no one else at the party would, so it saves Elizabeth from getting hurt. I would then run off to change back into my previous attire. I suppose you may call me a lovesick fool, but even to someone as broken as I…cannot avoid the entanglement in love's strings.

A knock startles me, "Are you ready to go make your entrance young master?" I gulp clenching my fists and opening the door, "As ready as I could be Sebastian." He was also donned in a snow white mask and a matching tux, and his hair slicked back to reveal his ears. "You look fitting Sebastian," I say rather coolly. I cannot see his expression behind the mask but his lips appear pursed, "I am flattered young master," was the emotionless reply. He led me to the ballroom where I donned a plastered smile. I spoke loudly, "Welcome to the Phantomhive estate. Please enjoy our opening entertainment, where I will play you a song. Then we shall dance the night away and have a feast while hidden away by our masks of mystery!" I heard Elizabeth squeal somewhere, and many nobles clapped at my notions. It was just so easy to please them, oh how incompetent they are.

I nudged Sebastian, who nodded and placed his viola under his chin. I wore a similar pose with my violin and started the dark duet of _Passacaglia_. The dark underbelly of his viola swayed under the growing sadness bellowing from my violin. The party guests were memorized by the swaying from conflict and sadness to resolve and then another conflict, it was like Sebastian and I were at war with each other. Despite the song's length, it seemed to end rather quickly. I looked up through my mask toward Sebastian, he did not meet my gaze and rather he looked down at the floor. I do not know what caused him such a shame like pose, but it wasn't the time to patronize him. I excused myself to enter the plan, and avoided Elizabeth and anyone else who was to tell me praise. I will also try to avoid thinking that revolves around Sebastian so intently that he would sense my thoughts and ruin the surprise factor.

When I leave, I quickly dash to my room and Tanaka changes me rather quickly, still skilled despite his age. And I return wearing a darker gothic version of the dress and wig I wore to the Viscount Druitt's party. And what I saw when I returned made my stomach flip. Everyone donned the same tux and max as Sebastian, though discerning who was a female and a male was the easy part. Each of the males appeared to have black hair as well, much like Sebastian's, who I can only assume was behind all of this. That sly oh sly demon. He finds me to be bad at judging people, oh how ever so rude of him. Glancing around, I can rule all the women out and the overweight or short men. That leaves the room with about 5 candidates, remembering I had not invited many nobles to this occasion for many were on my last nerve this year. I slowly approached the first one, and immediately left when I noticed a flaw. There was a beauty mark near his lip. The other three when approached were too tall, I could tell when I reached them that in fact they were taller than Sebastian. Then there was candidate five, and upon approaching I did not see any flaw. So I decided to spark a conversation, "Hello there sir may I inquire how you are enjoying this masquerade?" He did not answer but only shrugged. He either picked a mute one or Sebastian really wanted to make this difficult. I suppose I will have to dance with him, and remove his glove to see if the contract mark is there. So I put on my false girl façade, "I heard from some of the guests a dance would be starting soon, they are really quite enjoyable don't you think?" I almost gagged at myself, but he seemed to find me alright (assuming he isn't Sebastian). At that moment the music changed to some sort of waltz, and he extended his hand to me. Now we would see…

I danced quite normal, having practiced on how to not step on the feet of others. He danced average as well, which doesn't really give me proof it was Sebastian or not. For anyone could hold restraint on ability. As the dance was about to end and we were to give our bow, I slipped off his glove in one quick swoop. But, just as I had it, it disappeared back onto his hand. Only Sebastian could move this quickly, so I nodded to him and walked into one of the darkened hallways away from the crowd. He followed as I thought he would. "Sebastian this farce is up, stop playing this trivial ga-"He grabbed me by the neck, not Sebastian. I had gotten it wrong. I, Ciel Phantomhive was wrong. "Yes indeed Earl of Phantomhive, you are wrong," he hissed, "I am not your dog Michaelis but I am in fact a demon, whose help you require." He let me go as I coughed and gasped for breath, "Why would I need your help when I already have Sebastian?" He chuckled darkly, "You do not _have_ him Earl, no, you do not have him yet. He may be your lapdog but is he what you want him to be?" I reddened realizing what he meant, "Why does that concern you?" He inched closer, "Because I can help you achieve your goal in exchange for something." I rolled my eyes smirking, "Let me guess my soul because it is already taken thank you." Surprisingly he did not agree. He countered instead, "No I wish not to eat your soul, I wish to have your emotions. Demons are fleeting beings, without a sense of emotion. I will leave you with your love and the goodness with it, but other emotions like happiness and despair will be mine." He smirked pointing at my heart.

I suppose it is a fair deal, seeing that I really don't care to experience happiness or despair, besides love. Though another contract would get Sebastian's attention. "I do not wish to have another contract. And how can I trust you demon, I can barely trust Sebastian at times?" He tapped his chin, "Well I am only going to use an ancient method to strengthen your soul. It will allow you to better seduce and hide thoughts from your servant. And my reward has no contract, when it is complete I will come for you myself and take my reward." This doesn't guarantee his word, but I am desperate indeed and I could always use Sebastian to kill him if he doesn't comply with the terms. "Alright I agree, do the method now if you can." He chuckled again, "With pleasure Little Lord." He traced a circle around my heart and I felt a stinging, sort of like a needle, and I saw him pull out what appeared to be a black thread. He twisted and knotted the thread in variety of shapes, making origami to display inside my chest. He tugged at it and it retracted inside me. I felt it coil and snake around something, which probably was my soul. "It is complete Earl, and if you wish to call me any time, my name is Phantom."

The stinging did not reside when he left through a shadow in the wall, so I just returned to the party where everyone was back to normal. So it was Phantom who had tricked me into being gravitated towards him. I suppose it was a neat trick, but gladly only an illusion. I did not bother going back to my room, but instead I just returned to the party. I glanced around the room and finally rested my eyes on Sebastian, who did not turn around immediately like he would have usually. Whence he did, he jumped a little as if he had been looking for me for a while, and I had just popped out of nowhere.

When Sebastian came over to me, his mouth was pursed, "Why are you dressed like that young master?" A worried pout came onto his lips, as if that wasn't the only problem. But instead of answering him directly I smirked, "So I could do this Sebastian." I planted an indulgent kiss on his lips, and I felt him tense but not out of apprehension but out of astonishment. And I left him there, I could see his hand raise to his lips, but I had retired to my room before he could say anything in response. I could now say the ball so far was a success, an absolute success.


End file.
